Curiosity is regarded as one of the most essential skills for effective coaching. It enables coaches to ask impactful questions that provoke thought, drive self-reflection, and ultimately lead to personal growth. When used effectively, curiosity leads to powerful questions that can unlock insights and AHA moments. For instance, asking open-ended questions like “What do you think is holding you back?” can prompt the client/coachee to examine themselves – their thoughts, fears, beliefs – leading to breakthroughs in their awareness and thinking.
“When used effectively, curiosity leads to powerful questions that can unlock insights and AHA moments.”
Curiosity, however, can become a double-edged sword. One significant risk is that coaches may ask questions that merely gather information rather than foster self introspection and exploration. For example, a coach might ask, “What are the relevant facts surrounding this issue?” instead of “What are your thoughts and insights about this issue?” The former question merely gathers information, while the latter promotes deeper reflection. Another example is “What did you do last week?” vs. “What did you learn about yourself” last week.
Another risk is that coaches may inadvertently ask nosy or intrusive questions that do not serve the client’s interests. For instance, questions like “What does your spouse say about your boss?” or “How much is your salary”? These curious questions are meant to satisfy the coach’s curiosity, so they are self-serving. They, in fact, probe into personal matters that the client may not be willing to discuss, leading to discomfort or resistance. Such questions can make the coachee feel exposed unnecessarily and possibly leading them to withdraw from the coaching relationship.
“Curiosity does not give us the license to ask any question we want to ask.”
Curiosity does not give us the license to ask any question we want to ask. Our curiosity as coaches should always benefit the client and is meant to heighten their self awareness, expand their thinking, challenge their beliefs, move them to action, etc. We, coaches, need to manage our curiosity to focus on what and how our clients are thinking, feeling, believing, perceiving, aspiring, and being, rather than on the specifics of their situation or problem. Focusing on their problem leads us to analyze their situation, derive solutions and even provide answers, which negates the self discovery process that is central to coaching.
If you want to learn more and take your coaching to the next level, join our ICF Level 2 Training – details here: https://benchmark-consulting.com.ph/advanced-coaching-certification/
